There’s more to it than just snark, though. Regretsy and readers strive to, in April’s words, “offset their asshole footprint”. By way of a for example, the Etsy seller (HiBird) who created the embroidered toilet paper and pantyliner pictured above was in some financial need after being featured , and with help from the Regretsy charity fund she was able to get a professional sewing machine to grow her business. According to the anniversary post today, tens of thousands of dollars have gone to charitable causes and sellers in need.

Literally, as I was writing this entry, Regretsy tweeted a request for a pair of boob-shaped floating candles for someone about to undergo a mastectomy. Obviously, there is therapeutic value in snark. I know Regretsy has seen me through my own comparatively puny difficulties…

Around the time that the Regretsy book came out, I was going through a bummer of a breakup. Well, I would consider it “a breakup”. Related parties might just consider it “screening their calls for a week”, but: my blog, my terminology. On the crappiest days where I couldn’t find the motivation to do anything, I could at least curl up with the Regretsy book and laugh at vaginal jewelry or fish taxidermied into squirrel suits. I feel like a big the-other-R-word to even compare myself to the people that I know Regretsy has helped but it’s a big group so I guess there’s room.

Thanks for the all the laughs so far, Regretsy! Looking forward to another year of fuckery.

I recommend all the articles at the link. As both a Latina and someone highly interested in reproductive justice, I found myself realizing as I read that I was wrongly envisioning those two identities as separate from each other. Of course reproductive justice is about all of our identities, whether they be as Latinas or daughters or mothers or LOST nerds or whatever. The piece I’m a Catholic Latina and I’m on the pill particularly articulated the point:

For me, it has been really important to begin asking questions about who we are as Latinas who support reproductive choice, and what our daily actions say about our identity as Latinas. For example, when I take my birth control every night, am I…a Latina taking birth control? An American taking birth control? A Catholic taking birth control? A law student taking birth control? A 25-year-old taking birth control? A consumer taking birth control? A reproductive justice advocate taking birth control? Someone’s girlfriend taking birth control? Someone’s daughter taking birth control?

In fact, I am all of those identities when I take birth control (and when I go shopping, and when I go to class, and when I watch The Daily Show, and when I lobby members of Congress, etc. etc.). And I can’t help but wonder whether my decision to take control of my fertility and decide whether, when, and how I’m going to have children is a larger statement about what kind of Latina, American, Catholic, law student, 25-year-old, consumer, reproductive justice advocate, girlfriend, and daughter I am. I think it is, and I hope that Latinas continue to explore how our identities intersect with and affect each other when we make reproductive decisions. None of this happens in a vacuum, and we can no longer accept the stereotypes that are perpetuated about us.

As for an answer to the week’s question, What’s your contraception story?, I’d like to pass along the news that came out this week about a new emergency contraception drug that’s effective for two days longer than Plan B:

U.S. government health experts voted Thursday to endorse a new type of morning-after contraceptive pill that works longer than existing products, concluding that it is safe and effective.

The unanimous recommendation from the Food and Drug Administration’s panel of reproductive health experts moves the pill ellaOne, which is approved in Europe, one step closer to the U.S. markets. The FDA is not required to follow the panel’s advice, although it often does.

EllaOne successfully reduces the chance of pregnancy for up to five days after sex. Plan B, the most widely used emergency contraceptive pill, is effective only if women take it within three days of having sex.

EllaOne has drawn criticism from anti-abortion groups, which say the drug is closer to an abortion pill than emergency contraception.

Oh, anti-abortion groups, will you ever let facts get in your way? Not as long as there are women’s reproductive destinies to control!

2008:

(I bet this is worth so much more now…should have bought it!)

Of course it’s not Comic-Con without cosplay and celebrities:

2009:

^^^Rifftrax Live!

And of course, the real joy of Comic-Con, comics! And various accoutrements. As you may notice I have a weakness for the classic pinup (click thumbnails to increase size).

Sandra Lee has given me more hours of entertainment than any other Food Network personality. Of course, all she’s ever taught me is what NOT to do; there’s a reason, after all, why she’s known affectionately as Scamdra Lee and Aunt Shamdy and why people from Alton Brown to Anthony Bourdain have called her out. Which is why I found it as shocking as the defibrillation you’d need after a lifetime of Sandy’s food to read this article from foodie hero Michael Ruhlman: Becoming Better Cooks, or Why Sandra Lee Is Not Evil Incarnate.

Really, Ruhlman? His basic argument is the clichéd “You’ve gotta start somewhere!”:

Nay, brethren, I say watch Sandra Lee if you like her, make her recipes, and make them again, because eventually, you are going to want more, and you are going to want better. I don’t care where you start, only that you start.

How generous! Maybe I’m just a crank, but I have to wonder if Ruhlman’s ever actually SEEN Sandra’s travesties. Her specialty is “70% packaged/30% fresh ingredients and special touches”, by which she means she mixes up concoctions of the unhealthiest and most expensive packaged food so she has extra time to redecorate her kitchen to match every outfit (not kidding). While I admire Michael Ruhlman’s optimism that after falling prey to Sandy’s “cookings are HARD!” ethos, people will somehow magically evolve, there’s an entire industry out there that’s built around making you believe it, and I’m pretty sure that up until now they’re been winning.

I say no thanks, y’all. Let’s want better for ourselves.

Selena
April 16, 1971 – March 31, 1995

I find it to be a little morbid to be using the anniversary of someone’s death for remembrance, especially one as shocking and untimely as Selena’s, but it seems to be the consensus so far be it from me to rock the boat (RIP Aliyah!).

I was around 12 when Selena was killed; I identified with her so strongly in junior high school; I wrote a report on her biography in anticipation of the JLo movie, and I remember being upset that they’d cast a Nuyorican instead of a Mexican-American actress. It wasn’t so much that I was into Tejano music; I wasn’t and still am not, particularly, but I have a fondness for it from having been raised around it. All my aunts, however, loved her and you couldn’t climb into the cab of a beaten-up pickup or visit a bedroom that housed six or eight cousins without seeing Selena emblazoned on a cassette case or piece of carnival glass.

I remember taking particular note of the fact that Selena had learned her first songs in Spanish phonetically, since it was her second language rather than her first. She’d only recorded a few song in English and I was convinced that she’d have been a huge crossover hit if she’d lived. I guess I felt like if all the (white) kids at school recognized her as a star it would have meant something, since she looked like me and the people around me. The naivete of youth!

Just peep those nails, and the hoops! Love it <3

So birthday girl Gaga (happy 24th, Mother Monster X!) joined up with Cyndi Lauper to design a lipstick for the MAC AIDS Fund’s Viva Glam campaign, which donates 100 percent of the proceeds from the sale of lipstick and lip gloss to the global fight against AIDS and HIV:

One of my favorite things about this campaign is how it emphasizes the feminine side of needing to be protected…Too often it seems to me like HIV protection is supposedly something that only gays, junkies and sluts are supposed to worry about. Of course that kind of stereotyping is total bullshit. Take it away, Gaga:

“We want women to feel strong and feel strong enough that they can remember to protect themselves. To have this lipstick as a reminder in your purse, that when your man is laying naked in bed, you go into the bathroom, you put your lipstick on, and you bring a condom out with you. There are no exceptions…This idea of negotiation before intercourse is this kind of ridiculous thing in the age that we’re living in. I would say never, but you must be in a loving, monogamous relationship or married. We’re not in an age when you can have irresponsible, condom-less sex.”

Fuck yeah to empowerment! And special edition MAC lipstick is a bonus; at only about $15, a tube of MAC is one of my surefire pick-me-ups if I’m feeling down, and when the profits go to charity it’s not even a guilty pleasure.

I could tell, sadly, that Gaga’s special edition shade was not going to suit my particular complexion (which, in my opinion somewhat awesomely, always gets delicious descriptors like cafe au lait, praline or caramel) but I had hopes for Cyndi’s shade as a heavy, creamy red…at least, that’s how it looks in the picture. It’s much more of a jewel tone, though, and it looks completely different on me that it apparently does on Ms. Lauper. I picked it up anyway, though!

I feel like a bit of an asshole posting such a cam-ho-tastic picture, but I suppose this won’t be much of a fashion blog if I don’t get over THAT inclination, so here we are:

So not the same color as in the ad. But cute in it’s own way, I thought.

Just as a little bonus, I thought it would be fun to take a look at a couple of the other Gaga looks that were the reason I was hoping to pick up a decent red lipstick, namely the wonderfully chola-tastic bitches in Telephone:

Amazingly, the very first YouTube tutorial I looked at about this turned out to be a great one. My favorite bit is the little droplet of cola still hanging precariously on the edge of the can on the right:

By now all interested parties have likely seen the new Telephone video featuring Beyoncé, but for posterior’s sake and for anyone that’s yet to watch it in sequence with the companion piece of Paparazzi, here we go:

That’s the hotness, right there. Recognize.

Note: I was conflating the National Abortion Federation (NAF) and the National Network of Abortion Funds (NNAF) in this video. They’re actually two different organization, so mea culpa.

NAF: http://www.prochoice.org/
NNAF: http://www.nnaf.org/

How much do I heart Claire Danes? I was never hugely into My So Called Life but I’m a 90′s baby all the same so I love that she has come back into acting after going to Yale. I have to admit to being the only whimsical bitch on the internet that never saw Amélie so I can’t say anything about Audrey Tautou except that she’s making shiny Pepto pink chic as hell.

I hate when red carpet coverage ignores the fellas. Then again, all it really takes as a guy to pull off perfect chicness is well-groomed facial hair and black tie (by which I mean, some variation of traditional black tie but he sure as hell better be wearing a black bow tie) so it’s easy to claim it’s boring. but I beg to differ:

Since Guy Pearce is breaking a cardinal rule, he has to make it up in the form of accessorizing with chunky nerd glasses and scruff, which is an acceptable substitution. As a lady, I’m so jealous of the boys and their ability to rock the scruff and actually change their appearance on a whim. The power!

Oh, Christoph. You old smoothie.

Just for funsies, here’s Mackenzie Crook and Nick Frost. Hate the outfits, but love them:

While I’m snarking, can we have a little talk, KStew?

I get that you hate having to do the whole red carpet thing, wearing couture gowns and being surrounded by admiring fans and incredibly talented peers has got to be just a terrible bore. I also get that you’re cognizant of the fact that Twilight is straight up teenybopper garbage and that the award you picked up is solely the result of their voting efforts as opposed to the merits of your talent and as such your statue doesn’t even look like everybody else’s but would it KILL you to crack a goddamned smile once in a freaking while?

Moving on. I wasn’t as crazy about the dress Gabourey Sidibe wore on the red carpet as one she wore to a nominee party, and as we’re all about the plus size fashion around here we get to look at both:

I think the dress on the right, in black or even champagne with some sparkly jewelry (though that doesn’t seem to be a thing at the BAFTAS) would have been cuter.

Speaking of cute, nobody told me Carey Mulligan went blonde! I have yet to see her big breakthrough movie, but as a card-carrying Shiantologist I am well familiar with Carey and I think she’s just as cute as a button and as soon as I saw her on the red carpet I knew she thought she had a chance at the win:


I’m conflicted about the dress, just because the wishy-washiness of the length irritates me. Short or long, dress, pick it and stick it! Great print, though. So cheers, Carey. Enjoy the accolades, and your adorable boyfriend, and feel free to send some of that mojo my way if you feel your cup runneth over.

A batch of your favorite cupcakes
A tub of vanilla frosting
Decorating details: Jason’s cute widdle face basically entails three red triangles, six dots and one big circle, so whatever strikes your fancy will work. I’ve used blueberries for eyes, and chocolate chips, and strawberry fruit leather would be great for the markings. Real strawberry, not so much: the liquid from the berries leeches out into the frosting and ruins the nice matte finish.

The trick to turning tube-o-frosting into something that dries into a hard finish like a royal icing is to melt it, simple as that. Since my frosting did in fact come from the 99 Cent Store, and a random Latin American country before that, I didn’t want to microwave it in the container (I don’t do too much to fight the phthalates but that just seems like tempting fate) so after scooping it into a separate bowl I was able to just leave it sitting atop the oven while I baked and it was good to go. Otherwise, you’ll want to nuke the frosting in short segments, stirring it in between.

From there, it’s just dip and drip. If you want an extra thick coating, you can let the first one set up and give it another coat.

If need be, you can throw the frosting back in the micro if it’s starting to cool too fast. To make Jason, I like to pop his eyeballs on before he sets up too much, and from there you just unleash your inner kindergartner:

I should point out, I actually don’t have any special affinity for Jason in particular. I’m not even much of a horror hound, though I admit I do love watching Donald Pleasance skulk around in a trenchcoat in Halloween (the film series) and I generally love all things Halloween (the holiday). I just thought The Heeze’s visage would lend itself quite well to cupcake form. But you can do whatever turns your key:

Go on, give it a try. I dare ya!

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